Happy Birthday, Precious Son

Dear Jason,

You would have turned 30 today. 30 years old. It’s hard to imagine you being 30 years old. You will forever be 19 in our memories.

If you had lived, what would you be doing now? Would you be married? Would you have kids? Would you still live in Washington or would you have moved to another state? What would you do for a living?

We’ll never know. You never had a chance to find out. You never had a chance to make those choices with your life. You never had the chance to find the love of your life, ask her to marry you, or to know the incredible joy of holding your newborn child. You never had a chance to graduate from college, move into your first apartment, buy your first home, or hold a full-time job.

There are so many, many things that you never got a chance to do.

I do know this, though. Whatever you would have done, it would have been with the integrity, empathy, kindness, and caring that were such a part of you. You would have loved with your whole heart and lived a life bringing sunshine and love into the lives of those who knew you.

I’m so sorry you didn’t get a chance to live your life to 30 and way beyond. I’m sure you would have lived it to the fullest. I’m sorry you didn’t get a chance to get married or have children. You would have been a wonderful husband and father. I’m so sorry that you were taken from us. The hole you left in our lives is huge.

But, I’m SO GLAD you were born into our family. I’m SO GLAD you were OUR boy, our precious son.

I miss you, my precious Mr. Jay. My Mr. Sunshine.

I love you…always. I miss you. You are always in my heart.

Happy birthday, Jason.

Mom

© 2012 Rebecca R. Carney

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20 thoughts on “Happy Birthday, Precious Son

  1. Happy Birthday to your beloved son, Jason.
    Today is my daughter’s 27th birthday, the first birthday she’s had since the sudden death of her only brother, almost 10 weeks ago. We couldn’t even bear to have a cake or candles without him – we just quietly acknowledged her birthday.

    How did you handle Jason’s first birthday without him?

  2. Jason is now recognizable and precious to us all, Becky. I was scrolling down through the reader and came to his picture before I even saw the blog…and immediately knew who it was and stopped. I can’t imagine what it is like to “imagine” a birthday and who he would be today. I send an even bigger hug today to you, your husband, and Jason’s brother and sister. oxo Debra

  3. Happy birthday to your precious son. I’m so sorry you don’t get to spend it with him. But I hope he is celebrating it up right, where he is. Your gift of love is surely always known to him.

  4. I am sorry, too, that Jason was not given the chances he deserved. It is a sad day; every day is a sad day for a parent who has lost their child. A big hug, Jorge

  5. Oh Rebecca, I’m so happy you repblogged that post. I’m so sorry you lost your child at such a young age…at any age is terrible. I can’t even imagine the wretched ache that kind of loss must leave behind. You seem strong and able to carry on and by having this blog it will help others who’ve lost children themselves. I’m glad to know you today.

    Emily

  6. I apologize, but I have no idea how I found your blog, only that I have it bookmarked. Was looking tonight through old bookmarks, and saw this post. My husband and I were talking TONIGHT about birthdays of children who have been lost … his son, my stepson (I raised him) died in a car accident 17 years ago.. He was fifteen then, and his birthday was September 28 … he would have been 32 this week.

    My brother died in a housefire when he was 19. His birthday was September 25. He would have been 50 this past week.

    Bless your heart and your memories. Just wanted you to know you are not alone.

  7. I am so, so sorry for your tragic loss :( What a beautifully touching letter. Thank you for sharing it (and your whole blog)… you are touching other people’s lives and Jason’s memory can be honoured by those who never got the chance to met him. My best to you

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