One month

From my journal dated April 3, 2002:

One month…

In some ways, it seems like yesterday; in some ways, it seems like forever ago; in some ways, it doesn’t even seem real.

How can he be gone? This great, fun, awesome guy.

Joe’s having such a hard time…I’m really worried about him. He was pacing and pacing last night, so upset. I don’t know how to help him. I’m not doing very well myself. I’ll be sitting in class, and I get this panic-y, restless feeling. I can hardly sit still.

We don’t know what would help. We don’t know how to get away from the pain. Even if we seem to be doing okay for the moment, it’s right below the surface. We may look like we’re functioning, but it’s just survival skills.

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This entry was posted in Death of a child by Rebecca Carney - One Woman's Perspective. Bookmark the permalink.

About Rebecca Carney - One Woman's Perspective

My name is Becky Carney. My husband, Joe, and I have been married for 40 years. We have two living children, Eric (37) and Jenna (32). We lost a baby in utero at 19 weeks in 1987. In 2002, our middle son, Jason (19), and his best friend, Alina (20), were broadsided by a drunk driver who was going at least twice the speed limit. They both died instantly. This blog is written from my perspective as a bereaved parent. I don't claim to know what it's like to walk in anyone else's shoes. Each situation is different; each person is different. Everyone handles grief differently. But if I can create any degree of understanding of what it's like to be a parent who has lost a child, then I have succeeded in my reason for writing this blog.

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