From my journal dated April 3, 2002:
In some ways, it seems like yesterday; in some ways, it seems like forever ago; in some ways, it doesn’t even seem real.
How can he be gone? This great, fun, awesome guy.
Joe’s having such a hard time…I’m really worried about him. He was pacing and pacing last night, so upset. I don’t know how to help him. I’m not doing very well myself. I’ll be sitting in class, and I get this panic-y, restless feeling. I can hardly sit still.
We don’t know what would help. We don’t know how to get away from the pain. Even if we seem to be doing okay for the moment, it’s right below the surface. We may look like we’re functioning, but it’s just survival skills.