Trading Faces

From my journal dated June 2, 2002:

The pastor at church today talked about “Trading Faces.” “Let your face know that you have the joy of the Lord,” he said.

How does all that “Christian-speak” reconcile with having a heart so broken at losing a precious child? “Change the oil of joy for mourning.” How many people “amen-ing” today really know what it’s like to lose a child and walk through the valley of the shadow of death?

I don’t want to be so sad. I don’t want to be bitter. But I also can’t be phony – “notify my face to smile” when my heart is so broken. It’s not a matter of faith necessarily. It’s a matter of having a broken heart because of the death of our son.

This entry was posted in Bereaved Parent, Death of a child, Faith, Grief/Grieving and tagged , by Rebecca Carney - One Woman's Perspective. Bookmark the permalink.

About Rebecca Carney - One Woman's Perspective

My name is Becky Carney. My husband, Joe, and I have been married for 40 years. We have two living children, Eric (37) and Jenna (32). We lost a baby in utero at 19 weeks in 1987. In 2002, our middle son, Jason (19), and his best friend, Alina (20), were broadsided by a drunk driver who was going at least twice the speed limit. They both died instantly. This blog is written from my perspective as a bereaved parent. I don't claim to know what it's like to walk in anyone else's shoes. Each situation is different; each person is different. Everyone handles grief differently. But if I can create any degree of understanding of what it's like to be a parent who has lost a child, then I have succeeded in my reason for writing this blog.

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