He’s just on vacation, isn’t he?

From my journal dated July 18, 2002:

I passed by the crash site earlier today, and they have those black rubber things across the road to count traffic. The last time I talked to the Sheriff’s Office, the traffic count and DNA results were the only things they were waiting on. So, it must be close to going to the Prosecutor’s Office.

I don’t think people realize that all of us have to pass by the crash site and cemetery…sometimes multiple times a day. Jenna probably goes by there more than any of us because it’s the closest route home from school and work.

I can’t help myself but look at either the cross at the crash site or toward the grave when I go by the cemetery…not that it makes it any more real. Sometimes I’m just so aware that my brain refuses to accept that he’s gone. It’s like Jason’s on vacation or at school, and I’m expecting him home soon. And then there are times when I just sit and sob because I’m so sad I just can’t bear it.


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