Out of sight, out of mind

From my journal dated October 29, 2002:

I had lunch with Mariana* yesterday. She said something about the fact that the kids don’t want to think about “it.” She said they want to pretend it never happened. Out of sight, out of mind. Someone else said something similar to me recently, too.

I understand that…and I think that may be why the kids, in particular, avoid us…avoid Jenna. Adults probably do the same thing. The problem with that is it puts us “out of sight, out of mind” right along with “it.”

But I wonder if people stop to think about how much it hurts us or what it feels like to be avoided or ignored like we’re some kind of pariah…all because of something over which we had no control. It’s like we, the victims, have done something horribly wrong and are being punished. What did we do? People pretend they don’t see us, look through us, wave and move on without stopping, disappear, leave us alone. Jenna and I have talked many times about the “Oh, no. Here she comes. Now what do I do?” look that we recognize on the faces of people we see.

We raised a great son who was horrendously killed, along with his best friend, by a drunk driver. We’re paying a price on so many levels…a price out of the very core of our beings. It hurts. It just hurts.