A Lost Future

From my journal dated November 9, 2002:

I read in a book recently that when older people die the initial focus is on attachments and memories. When children die, the initial focus is on lost hopes and dreams. One represents the completed past; one represents a lost future.

My future looks so empty. Jason represented such good things for the future. I knew he would be there for Jenna, to be a protective big brother. He was my hope for a wonderful daughter-in-law and grandkids who were wanted and loved.

He walked with God and loved Him, served Him.

He was my hugger and encourager.

I miss Jason’s laugh. I miss his smile. I miss everything about him. There was so much about Jason that was a delight to me from the moment he was born.

I miss my boy.


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