I miss my boy

From my journal dated  November 24, 2002:

The general feeling about grief seems to be that it’s like a wound – it heals gradually over time and you get “better.”

But that’s not necessarily true, especially when it concerns the death of a child. It’s not like you start at the bottom of a hill and walk steadily upward out of grief. The road is long, uneven, and it gets harder, because the realization of the awful permanence sinks in. Day after day; occasion after occasion. We have to learn to live with the permanence of the death of our precious Jason.

I know we’ll see him again. But I miss him so much.

This entry was posted in Bereaved Parent, Death of a child, Grief, Jason David Carney and tagged , , , , by Rebecca Carney - One Woman's Perspective. Bookmark the permalink.

About Rebecca Carney - One Woman's Perspective

My name is Becky Carney. My husband, Joe, and I have been married for 40 years. We have two living children, Eric (37) and Jenna (32). We lost a baby in utero at 19 weeks in 1987. In 2002, our middle son, Jason (19), and his best friend, Alina (20), were broadsided by a drunk driver who was going at least twice the speed limit. They both died instantly. This blog is written from my perspective as a bereaved parent. I don't claim to know what it's like to walk in anyone else's shoes. Each situation is different; each person is different. Everyone handles grief differently. But if I can create any degree of understanding of what it's like to be a parent who has lost a child, then I have succeeded in my reason for writing this blog.

2 thoughts on “I miss my boy

  1. Rebecca,
    Thank you for sharing. Every word resonates with me. I miss my boy every day. Yes – “We have to learn to live with the permanence of the death of our precious Jason.” That’s what I call “learning to live around the hole in my heart”, because it’s not like climbing up and out, but more like learning to accept where we are, and what is, to the best of our ability.
    Thank you again for sharing your heart.

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