Nothing is Normal About This Year

From my journal dated November 28, 2002:

Thanksgiving Day.

Debra* invited us to have Thanksgiving Dinner with them. We should be leaving soon. Don’t know why we’re even doing this. None of us really want to go. We probably should have gone away somewhere or done something totally different.

We all just want this day to be over. It’s hard to feel like celebrating. It’s just hard to celebrate any holiday right now like we used to – like “normal.” Nothing is normal about this year. Nothing will ever be “normal” again…like it was. How can it be?

Jenna slept until 11:30. Joe has taken two naps today. My stomach hurts and I have diarrhea…from the stress, I’m sure. Yeah, sure…we’re fine…we’re okay. Not.

Got up this morning and made two pies, dinner rolls and cinnamon rolls. Jason wanted me to teach him how to make my cinnamon rolls this year. He loved them.

How are we going to make it through to the end of the year? I can’t even think of celebrating anything without our boy. I don’t know how to do it.

3 thoughts on “Nothing is Normal About This Year

  1. Thanks for sharing, it’s nice to hear your story, particularly because I have been thinking a lot about Thanksgiving this year and what it will be like without my mother. It’s 3 months away, but it has occupied much of my mind. I suppose it’s because I want to make it as “easy” as possible. I don’t think easy is the right word. I guess I know it will be hard and I want to be prepared. I’m tempted to suggest to my family we go out to seafood or something completely untraditional. I want something to completely distract us from the truth of her being gone. But I know that is impossible.

    I’m also trying to understand the new “normal”. I hear it all the time but I have yet to see how that will unfold. But yes, nothing feels normal and life will never be the same.

  2. Pingback: Another Thanksgiving in the books | Grief: One Woman's Perspective

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s