From my journal dated December 1, 2002:
Joe put up the Christmas lights on the deck this morning. I know he’s having such a hard time with Christmas approaching. He is such an awesome man. I love him so much.
We went out to breakfast after church today. Joe started talking about Jason and how he feels. It was a hard place to talk about such things, because I was trying so hard not to cry in such a public place.
He said he misses his family so much. He also said that some days all he can think about how Jason is gone and how part of our family is missing. Some of the things he said are similar to how I have felt, that nothing is the same.
Things will never be the same. It’s just so hard. Christmas will never be the same.