From my journal dated December 11, 2002:
Sunday was a really tough day for us. Maybe it’s because Christmas is fast approaching – our first Christmas without Jason.
Went to church; sat up in the balcony. Neither of us knows where we belong right now. It just feels like we don’t fit anywhere. I feel like I’m just observing – observing church, observing activities, observing life. Sometimes I feel very detached.
Joe and I talked some about this whole “not knowing where we belong” thing when we got home and what to do for Christmas. Joe was just so sad today. He cried and cried. He’s a broken-hearted daddy.
I don’t know how we’re going to stand celebrating Christmas this year without Jason. It hurts so much just to think about it.