“A good friend is someone who just shows up”

I just had to share something Three Well Beings wrote in response to yesterday’s “Look for the Silver Lining” blog:

…sometimes a good friend is someone who just shows up. Words can really let us down, but being close and a willing helper is rarely unwelcome.

So succinctly and powerfully put, that pretty much summarized my entire post!

© 2012 Rebecca R. Carney


8 thoughts on ““A good friend is someone who just shows up”

  1. Just wanted to share my favorite quote regarding friends – I am blessed to have such a friend – a friend that even in situations when there are no words to say has refused to leave my side.
    ‘When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”
    ― Henri J.M. Nouwen,

    • Hey Rebecca, I am busy today but I noticed you visited my Blog, Unfortunately, I think we have a lot to share. At some point in the future lets talk!

      Hugs my friend!!

  2. Rebecca

    I am late to the game but must say your post yesterday really hit home for me. It seems that one thing Death does is sort things out in short order: who shows up; who stays. With the suicide in our family 7 years ago a group of women cleaned my house while we were at the farm, then planned my sons bday which was a month away, fed us, made sure we paid the bills. They stayed. 15 (? You lose track) deaths later and these women are still there. I received a text yesterday ‘want to go to Mass?’ from a non Catholic friend.

    Death sorts some things out. I lost friends. People say things that made my skin curl. I made new deeper friendships. So it goes.

    I just want to say that your blog is so very helpful to those of us grieving.

    Thank you! Take care,


  3. When I was in grief over my grandmother’s passing, one of my best friends gave me a tiny small frame that I put in my kitchen window sill, “A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”

    It’s so true, the best friends will “allow” you to be sad.

  4. Thanks for visiting my blog and leading me to yours, Becky. Your description of being a preacher’s daughter and the consequent learnt obligations could have been written about me 🙂 I have learnt that grief can only be taken one day at a time… Sending you love x

  5. How true for the grieving mother. I found I often didn’t know how to ask for them to come, and didn’t even know what I needed, but so could have used someone to just show up, so many times.

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