My Christmas Wish for Bereaved Parents

This is my sincere wish and prayer for all bereaved parents this holiday season – and all through the years that it takes to integrate such a huge loss into the fabric of our lives – that more gentleness and caring would be shared with those who have lost someone especially dear, that more gladness and warmth would be unconditionally shared, that time would be time taken amidst the daily and holiday bustle to recognize the depth of grief behind the mask and the silence of the face, and that a hand of genuine and continued friendship and love would grasp those who are hurting and who so badly need comfort. Sometimes those who deeply grieve aren’t transparent with their grief (for wide and varied reasons of their own); sometimes people around those who deeply grieve don’t take the time to notice or don’t take the time to do anything about it.

My Christmas wish is that you feel loved and cherished this holiday season.

If I Had Known
Mary Carolyn Davies (1888-1940)

If I had known what trouble you were bearing;
What griefs were in the silence of your face;
I would have been more gentle and more caring,
And tried to give you gladness for a space.
I would have brought more warmth into the place,
If I had known.
If I had known what thoughts despairing drew you;
(Why do we never try to understand?)
I would have lent a little friendship to you,
And slipped my hand within your hand,
And made your stay more pleasant in the land,
If I had known.


[From The Sabbath Recorder: Volume 82. American Sabbath Tract Society, 1917]

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14 thoughts on “My Christmas Wish for Bereaved Parents

  1. Thank you Rebecca, you do truly being softness and understanding in your words that only come from having the experience of having been there. God continue to bless you and your family.

  2. Reblogged this on JUSTICE FOR RAYMOND and commented:
    A parents worst nightmare is receiving that phone call, that visit to the door, the message that their child, son or daughter has met a tragic situation and has died. God bless each family that has lost someone, hilidays are extremely difficult.

  3. Mother passed Sept 17th. A very sudden cancer illness and she lasted 5 weeks after the diagnosis. I was her home hospice nurse during that time and she passed in my presence. Yesterday was the first time in my life that I was the one who hosted Thanksgiving for friends and family. It was ironically the first Thanksgiving she did not host. I did feel her presence from the other side, however.

    • Holidays are especially hard for me, too, every single one of them. This time of year with Thanksgiving – and Christmas right behind – feels like an emotional minefield at times. The idealist part of me yearns for the way they “should” be, the way I always assumed my life would be with our home filled with all of our kids, their spouses, and grandkids. I find tears not too far beneath the surface at times as longing taps into that reservoir of sorrow that Jason is no longer with us. Part of me just wants to curl up and hide until they are behind me. But, I continue to work very hard each year to look more outward instead of inward.

  4. Pingback: A gentle reminder – in the hustle and bustle of this holiday season | Grief: One Woman's Perspective

  5. Pingback: “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” | Grief: One Woman's Perspective

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