Of Signs and Such

I’m writing about something I’ve never told anyone before. I know there are bereaved parents who look for signs from their departed children, but I’m not one of them. There have been times when I’ve been some place and felt like Jason was particularly close in my heart and thoughts. There have been times when I’ve walked through a room or something and it smelled like Jason – like his favorite cologne or something else that reminded me of him – in one particular area. We don’t even live in the house where Jason grew up and most everything I have that belonged to Jason is in storage, so it kind of catches me by surprise when it happens. There are times when it feels like Jason is far away and times when he feels very near. Why do people who have died feel closer at some times than others? I don’t know. There are times when God has felt close and times when he’s felt so very far away. Why? I don’t know. There are lots of things I don’t know or understand.

March 3 2005 020On the morning of March 3, 2005, I was really low. It was the third anniversary of Jason’s death. After taking a shower, I came downstairs and into the breakfast nook where Joe was sitting at the table. As I looked out the sliding door to the backyard, I looked at Joe and exclaimed, “It looks like your name is written in the clouds out there!” He said, “I know!” I ran upstairs and got my camera to take a picture because I didn’t think anyone would believe me. I just sat and watched it for the longest time.

I’m not one to hyper-spiritualize things or try to find some spiritual hidden meaning in everything. But I do believe God wrote Joe’s name in the clouds that morning. It had been a very long, lonely struggle for three years, and both of us were very weary. I think Joe particularly needed encouragement at that time. The Bible says that God is near to the brokenhearted. I honestly believe this was God’s way of being close to Joe on that morning, March 3, 2005.

© 2013 Rebecca R. Carney

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5 thoughts on “Of Signs and Such

  1. Oh Rebecca. Thank you for sharing this! There is someone out there who needs to see this, and so I’m going to share as well. I definitely believe in signs and such, lovingly placed by a God who knows our hearts, even when we don’t speak it out loud.
    Please know that you are in my prayers, particularly now, as you walk through another March without Jason. I read what you said about the sirens. I too, first cringe, and then pray for all involved when I hear them. Who knew that their was such a large contingency of prayer warriors, born of understanding and compassion through their own loss, out there praying for others when accidents happen? This is how we do what we can do now. Powerful!

  2. I’ve prayed for you today, Rebecca, and hope that you have felt able to rest. I do believe this sign was heaven sent. What a lovely memory this message in the clouds must be. I’m glad you shared it with us.

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