Solving the Problem of Grief: The Solution Is Not What You Think

This is a great article. Grief is NOT a problem needing to be “fixed,” something that any person who has every truly experienced a great loss can understand.

Natasha's Memory Garden

By Megan Devine

Posted: 01/23/2014 5:51 pm

Solving the problem of grief is a problem in itself: if the ways you are broken cannot possibly be fixed, why does everyone keep giving you solutions?

Before my partner died, I was reading There is a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem by Dr. Wayne Dyer. It’s a great book. When I tried to pick it up after Matt died, though, I couldn’t get back into it. It just kept feeling wrong, like there was a burr inside the words that scratched uncomfortably. I kept trying to find comfort in the words I found comforting and helpful before, and those words were just not doing it.

I put the book down. I picked it back up. The burr rasped and the words didn’t fit, and I put the book back down.

It was several weeks later when my eye happened to catch…

View original post 963 more words

7 thoughts on “Solving the Problem of Grief: The Solution Is Not What You Think

  1. Thank you so much for sharing this. It’s so true that people want to fix us and that they are uncomfortable with our pain. It makes so much more sense to acknowledge and accept than to deny the grief that we experience. I wish everyone could understand this.

  2. Thank you, Rebecca. I have reblogged this as well. Meaningful words that help me put a tiny bit of perspective, but as a carrier of this magnitude of grief, you, and the rest of us, know this instinctively. It can never “be fixed”, it will never go away. Thanks for explaining why it is so frustrating to hear the platitudes, always offered with utmost sincerity, by our friends and family. I am still at the very beginning of this journey. Your insights have given me a glimpse of what is in store for me. Thank you again.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s