The Ten Commandments of Not Making Things Worse

One of the most difficult things to understand following the death of a child – the first and most difficult thing to understand being WHY our child died and how we are going to be able to live without him – is how other people react to us. I tend to get wordy when I write, so I thought this list was very concise and to the point.

This entry was posted in Death of a child by Rebecca Carney - One Woman's Perspective. Bookmark the permalink.

About Rebecca Carney - One Woman's Perspective

My name is Becky Carney. My husband, Joe, and I have been married for 40 years. We have two living children, Eric (37) and Jenna (32). We lost a baby in utero at 19 weeks in 1987. In 2002, our middle son, Jason (19), and his best friend, Alina (20), were broadsided by a drunk driver who was going at least twice the speed limit. They both died instantly. This blog is written from my perspective as a bereaved parent. I don't claim to know what it's like to walk in anyone else's shoes. Each situation is different; each person is different. Everyone handles grief differently. But if I can create any degree of understanding of what it's like to be a parent who has lost a child, then I have succeeded in my reason for writing this blog.

5 thoughts on “The Ten Commandments of Not Making Things Worse

  1. I just read the original post last night on “Three is the Magic Number”.

    I liked how it was straight and to the point. I have found myself being patient with others when it should be the other way around. I am planning on re-blogging this, too. I hope readers will take it to heart and not be offended at her honesty. It’s a wake up call. People want to know “if there is anything I can do”. There is. Please read this with humility and don’t be offended. It makes it worse.

  2. I lost my my boy 9 years ago today. His name also was Jason. He was 23 and was hit by a car and killed instantly on January 3 2006 while he walked back from the store. It had been only 10 minutes after he said I love you mamma and I replied with I love you boy. Talk to you tomorrow. I know finding this blog this morning was a gift from him. When I read your blog I feel as if I wrote it. Thank you so much from my broken heart. It is what I needed today. I will continue to follow for you have helped so much. Much love and have a blessed day.

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