Article Referral – “Stifled Grief: How the West Has It Wrong”

I’d like to share an article I found recently entitled “Stifled Grief: How the West Has it wrong.” In the article, the author states some of the common expectations by others of someone who has suffered a deep loss and is walking through deep grief. She then contrasts those expectations with the reality that those who have “walked the walk” have actually experienced. In her opening paragraphs, the author states:

Western society has created a neat little “grief box” where we place the grieving and wait for them to emerge fixed and whole again. The grief box is small and compact, and it comes full of expectations…that range from time frames to physical appearance. Everyone who has been pushed into the grief box understands it’s confining limitations, but all of our collective voices together can’t seem to change the intense indignation of a society too emotionally stifled to speak the truth. It’s become easier to hide our emotional depth than to reveal our vulnerability and risk harsh judgment. When asked if we are alright, it’s simpler to say yes and fake a smile…(

If you’re a grammar person, you may have to overlook some of the obvious errors. Please don’t let the need of a good proofreader cause you to miss the excellent content. You can find the article here:


© 2016 Rebecca R. Carney



This entry was posted in Death of a child, Grief and tagged by Rebecca Carney - One Woman's Perspective. Bookmark the permalink.

About Rebecca Carney - One Woman's Perspective

My name is Becky Carney. My husband, Joe, and I have been married for 40 years. We have two living children, Eric (37) and Jenna (32). We lost a baby in utero at 19 weeks in 1987. In 2002, our middle son, Jason (19), and his best friend, Alina (20), were broadsided by a drunk driver who was going at least twice the speed limit. They both died instantly. This blog is written from my perspective as a bereaved parent. I don't claim to know what it's like to walk in anyone else's shoes. Each situation is different; each person is different. Everyone handles grief differently. But if I can create any degree of understanding of what it's like to be a parent who has lost a child, then I have succeeded in my reason for writing this blog.

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