I Hurt

Crushed, trust broken, maligned

Feeling worthless, unvalued

Skewered through the heart

 

Cared deeply, tried so hard, invested so much

And to what end?

People leave without a second thought

 

3 a.m. awake and tears flow, brokenhearted

8 a.m. guard up and mask in place

Professional once again

 

God knows, God hears, God sees

God knows it hurts

I hurt

 

~Becky

© 2017 Rebecca R. Carney

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This entry was posted in Death of a child, Grief and tagged by Rebecca Carney - One Woman's Perspective. Bookmark the permalink.

About Rebecca Carney - One Woman's Perspective

My name is Becky Carney. My husband, Joe, and I have been married for 40 years. We have two living children, Eric (37) and Jenna (32). We lost a baby in utero at 19 weeks in 1987. In 2002, our middle son, Jason (19), and his best friend, Alina (20), were broadsided by a drunk driver who was going at least twice the speed limit. They both died instantly. This blog is written from my perspective as a bereaved parent. I don't claim to know what it's like to walk in anyone else's shoes. Each situation is different; each person is different. Everyone handles grief differently. But if I can create any degree of understanding of what it's like to be a parent who has lost a child, then I have succeeded in my reason for writing this blog.

13 thoughts on “I Hurt

    • No, Cindy. Not at all. Although this describes perfectly how I felt after Jason died, unfortunately a difficult situation at work has brought these same feelings back, compounded by scars left from Jason’s death and other things we walked through after he died. Had written a post about current situation and connection/correlation to previous scars, but decided not to post. Approaching the 15 year mark and emotions are close to the surface. Tough time right now. Hope you are doing well.

  1. Triggers – those things that rekindle the painful fires all over again. I’m really sorry, Becky. Even when you are unappreciated, you must know that you are a valuable human. I am certain you are treasured. Don’t let anyone else shake that.

  2. I just said a most sincere prayer that you’ll feel a warm sense of God’s comfort. As someone who has never walked this painful road, I don’t personally have the words that ease your pain, but I do know God’s love and care of you…and I can pray. ox

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