International Bereaved Mother’s Day


18268565_697026167165887_4661629661358390851_nInternational Bereaved Mother’s Day is observed the Sunday before Mother’s Day in the United States. May 7, 2017.

I didn’t even know such a day existed until I was a mom that needed it.

For those of us who have children in heaven, setting aside a day to acknowledge that unique mother/child relationship is helpful.

Traditional Mother’s Day is meant to be a time of celebration. A day when children send cards or flowers or give gifts to honor their mom and let her know that years spent pouring into their lives are appreciated.

Lots of church pews and restaurant tables are filled with family as children come home to be with mom.

But our child can’t come home.

That makes Mother’s Day complicated for me.

It means that while I am thrilled to spend it with the children who can make it home, there is always a tinge of sadness to the celebration. And I hate that. Because they deserve a whole-hearted mother.

So I’m thankful this other day exists. Thankful for a day when I can think about and speak about and embrace the child that won’t be with me next weekend.

Because our child is STILL our children. They’re still very much a part of our hearts. And I need to be able to speak that aloud for others to hear.

Some mamas will be drawing or painting hearts on their hands and writing their missing child’s name inside as a beautiful outward testimony to an inward reality. Every day we carry our missing child in our hearts.

international bereaved mothers heart brave and courageous

So if you know a bereaved mother, give her a hug today.

Make time and give space for her to share.

And then listen, love and lift her up.


PLEASE NOTE: I have changed the above citation to give credit to the original author of this post. When I first wrote this post, I had originally given credit to the Facebook, which is where I first read it. The Facebook page did not cite the original author, which was not the right thing to do. Melanie at contacted me when she saw my post to let me know this had been plagiarized from her original post. She is the original author. I always try to give credit to the author of a writing or photograph, because I understand how hard it is and how personal it is to write about the death of a child. My apologies to Melanie and to those who read this blog.


© 2017 Rebecca R. Carney

This entry was posted in Bereaved Parent, Death of a child, Grief, Mother's Day and tagged , , by Rebecca Carney - One Woman's Perspective. Bookmark the permalink.

About Rebecca Carney - One Woman's Perspective

My name is Becky Carney. My husband, Joe, and I have been married for 44 years. We have two living children, Eric (41) and Jenna (36). We lost a baby in utero at 19 weeks in 1987. In 2002, our middle son, Jason (19), and his best friend, Alina (20), were broadsided by a drunk driver who was going at least twice the speed limit. They both died instantly. This blog is written from my perspective as a bereaved parent. I don't claim to know what it's like to walk in anyone else's shoes. Each situation is different; each person is different. Everyone handles grief differently. But if I can create any degree of understanding of what it's like to be a parent who has lost a child, then I have succeeded in my reason for writing this blog.

5 thoughts on “International Bereaved Mother’s Day

  1. Becky, do you know who does that FB page? This is word-for-word my blog post with no credit given on the page. I’m not really that uptight about it but it irks me for someone to copy and paste without giving the blog site along with it. You would have no way to know and you cited it appropriately for where you got it. Thanks! Melanie

    • Oh, Melanie! I’m so sorry!! I have no idea who writes it. I liked something on it and it shows up in my FB feed. I’ll change the citation. You deserve credit; it’s an excellent post. I’ll make a note on the FB page that credit needs to be given to the one who wrote it – YOU!! Thank you so much for letting me know.


  2. Hi Becky,
    I wish I’d never needed to find your blog, I wish you’d never needed to write it. Because that would mean we’d never lost our children, that we wouldn’t be broken as we are.
    But it is as it is, and in unexpected ways I’ve found comfort in your writing. Mother’s Day is a hard one though. Last year when a friend asked me what I’d done on the day, ( my Mum is no longer with us) I replied ” I’m not a Mum anymore and I don’t have a Mum anymore” hard maybe, but that’s just how I felt at that time.
    Anyway I never knew about this day just for us, and didn’t read your post until late evening, ( time differences I’m in the UK) but I had a good day, the best, doing all my favourite things, they’re not always like that are they? Then reading your post it felt right somehow that I’d enjoyed my day, sort of a celebration of my sons life.
    So thanks for being there, and sharing your experiences, it does help somehow.
    Helen xx

    • Helen,

      Thank you so much for writing and for your kind comments. I’m so glad you had a good day, a day celebrating your son. Since Jason died, I’ve always felt rather “sandwiched” on either side by loss on Mother’s Day. Jason died in 2002 and my mom died in 2005. I try really hard to be in the present with our daughter, who tries hard to make Mother’s Day special for me.

      Hugs to you,

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