“It Never Becomes Okay”

A recent article stated that legendary actress Vanessa Redgrave is “still coping with the loss of her daughter Natasha Richardson.” Her daughter, Natasha Richardson, died in a skiing accident ten years ago. The article goes on to quote Ms. Redgrave as saying, “Time does not heal; that would seem to me to say that suddenly it’s OK, and it’s not…It never becomes OK.”

Any parent who has lost a child would agree that “it never becomes okay.”


© 2019 Rebecca R. Carney

This entry was posted in Child Loss, Death of a child, Grief and tagged , by Rebecca Carney - One Woman's Perspective. Bookmark the permalink.

About Rebecca Carney - One Woman's Perspective

My name is Becky Carney. My husband, Joe, and I have been married for 44 years. We have two living children, Eric (41) and Jenna (36). We lost a baby in utero at 19 weeks in 1987. In 2002, our middle son, Jason (19), and his best friend, Alina (20), were broadsided by a drunk driver who was going at least twice the speed limit. They both died instantly. This blog is written from my perspective as a bereaved parent. I don't claim to know what it's like to walk in anyone else's shoes. Each situation is different; each person is different. Everyone handles grief differently. But if I can create any degree of understanding of what it's like to be a parent who has lost a child, then I have succeeded in my reason for writing this blog.

10 thoughts on ““It Never Becomes Okay”

  1. Nope, it never becomes okay. I miss my son more and more every day. Two years on March 11. It still doesn’t seem real. I still cry. I still jump with a start, wondering how and why this happened to him, still not quite believing he isn’t here.

  2. No, it doesn’t. In fact, it actually gets worse in a way with time. As the missed moments pile up, all the times we won’t have with our children, the ache gets more and more profound. I miss our son more today than ever before. It never goes away and it will never be okay.

    • This has been what has been kicking my butt lately. I have definitely been in a funk lately due to a lot of things but the most profound and the one that is driving the bus, is my grief. Somehow I think my mind thought there was a stop on this bus. No such thing.

  3. Becky,
    Thank you so much for sharing your journey so honestly. In May it will be 3 years since my 19yr old daughter died. I so appreciate your perspective as someone who is farther along than I am. I am learning that it will take many years to find some kind of new normal- we are forever changed. I like to think that our kids are wrapping their love around us as we continue to love them.
    Hugs to you, Andrea

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