I look at the pictures of Jason on my Nixplay digital photo as they rotate in the frame that sits right by my desk at work. Oh, how I wish I could go back in time to hug that precious little boy, tickle that cute little guy under his chin and hear his infectious laugh, play a card or board game with my lover of all games, bake chocolate chip cookies with my beautiful boy, sit and watch a movie, just BE together doing anything.
I love looking at the pictures, but some days the pain of his absence is almost too much to bear. Photographs and memories will never take the place of actually spending time with my precious boy.
I love you, my precious boy. I miss you with all my heart.
~Becky
© 2020 Rebecca R. Carney
I applaud your courage in subjecting yourself to deep pain that has yet to heal – I have yet, for myself, to do any ‘pictures’ where they greet me face to face on the ‘hard days’ and suffer the most from those who don’t understand why the baby books/photos are still packed away in me own storage/moved twice in aftermath of loss’ crates – – that said, we each navigate our grief as we do and as it works for us/can be borne – I was grateful and ecstatic when I could once more listen to the music/bands he loved and go through my memories of him/his musical journey, but still….don’t do a lot of photographs front and center – 🙂
Hugs, TamrahJo. Thank you for writing.
~Becky