No longer the same

sc000174d6

I look at this picture of me with my precious boy, and I see a woman so happy she can barely contain her joy. Happy, open. I know that it’s me, but it’s the “before” me. The “after” me no longer looks like this. I smile, I laugh, but not like I used to. And I no longer look like this. I don’t even know who she is any more, that “before” person. The journey I have been on shows on my face and in my eyes. I no longer beam when I smile. My eyes reflect a sadness that runs deep and never goes away.

I miss you, my precious boy, today and every day.

© 2019 Rebecca R. Carney