Integrity

1f4362aafec4392ef99f84318a38010aOfficial definition: Firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values.

Synonyms: character, decency, goodness, honesty, morality, probity, recited, righteousness, rightness, uprightness, virtue, virtuousness. Honesty, honor, integrity and probity mean uprightness of character or action. Honesty implies a refusal to lie, steal, or deceive in any way. Honor suggests an active or anxious regard for the standards of one’s profession, calling, or position. Integrity implies trustworthiness and incorruptibility to a degree that one is incapable of being false to a trust, responsibility, or pledge. Probity implies tried and proven honesty or integrity.

(https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/integrity)

Unofficial definition: Doing the right thing even when no one is watching.

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Jason had great integrity, a heart to do what was right. He was honest. He was trustworthy. He was the guy that parents knew they could trust their daughters to go out with. He was the type of guy that showed up to work on time and did the best job he could, no matter what else was going on around him or whether anyone was watching. He was the guy that was kind to anyone.

In one of his college classes, a fellow small group project member had plagiarized a portion of Jason’s paper, one that Jason had generously consented to allowing the guy to read in order to help encourage this person’s effort in writing his own paper. The professor recognized enough similarities and called both of them in for cheating. Jason was horrified that his integrity was being called into question when he had simply been trying to help the other guy succeed in the class. Thankfully, the professor recognized what was going on and who was the real cheater. Jason’s integrity showed through.

My husband also has a great integrity. It’s one of the things that drew me to him. Joe worked in telecommunications, with his clients being some of the major hotels and universities in the greater Seattle area. He worked with the White House communications department, the office of the President of South Korea, actors, sports stars, major business companies. When working with government departments, he had to be cleared by the FBI just to step foot on any floor of the hotel the government entity had taken over. The thing about Joe is that he treated everyone with respect, whether his dealings involved the White House or the maid cleaning the toilet.

Jason was the same. He approached life with an openness, honesty and integrity that was just amazing. He was a true friend to his friends. He loved his family and friends unconditionally, forgave unconditionally. He was not embarrassed to show that he cared. He hugged those he loved, no matter who was watching. He was true to himself and his values. Whatever he did, he did with his whole heart and with integrity.

Integrity is treating people with respect, whether they are rich or poor, whether or not you personally benefit from the way you treat that person, whether or not anyone is watching or will every know what you did. Integrity is your actions matching up with what you profess to believe on Sunday. Integrity is not trying to make someone look bad just so you will look better. Integrity is owning up to your mistakes, genuinely saying you’re sorry, and trying to do better the next time.

Jason’s integrity is one of the things I miss about him. It is what inspires me to try harder and to do the best I can, no matter the circumstances.

I miss you, my precious boy.

~Becky

© 2020 Rebecca R. Carney

Horrible Week

I’m just going to put this out there. It’s only Wednesday and this has been a horrible week so far. As a matter of fact, the past few weeks have been just awful. Friday is the anniversary of Jason’s death, and that by itself is so much to handle. It hurts so much that Jason is gone. Joe and I still ask each other, “How can he be gone?” Our precious boy.

Add on top of that someone at work that I truly cared for has carelessly hurt me so deeply that I can’t even put into words how I feel, and, even though I have done absolutely nothing wrong and have done nothing to deserve the way I’ve been treated, has made a whole lot of people question my loyalty, integrity and character. He has made me look bad in order to look good, through no fault of my own. I don’t know what to do and I have no way to defend myself. I feel like I am holding together and forging ahead by sheer willpower, but I’m so very weary and so very hurt.

I just keep reminding myself to live my life so that Jason would be proud of me. I want to be proud of who I am and how I have treated others. I am responsible for my own actions and not those of others. As I said in an earlier post, “I want to live my life worthy and upright. I want Jason to be proud of me, to look down from that great cloud of witnesses and say to those around him, “Look at her!! That’s my mom!!” ” In my mind I picture that, when we stand before God in heaven, the story of our lives and how we treated others will be played on the big screen for all to see. Or, as the Bible says, “…There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that not will be made known. What you have spoken in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the housetops. (Luke 12:3)” I want the story of my life to be one that I can be proud of.

Keep me in your prayers this week. I really need it.

~Becky

© 2017 Rebecca R. Carney