Jason would have been 38 years old today. My precious, beautiful, sunshine-y boy.
There are days when it all comes crashing down. This is one of those days.
Perhaps it’s the unrest and incivility so prevalent in the United States these days. We could use a kind, loving, thoughtful beautiful soul like Jason in the world. He made it a more kind and beautiful place.
Perhaps it’s knowing that he died when he was 19 – half of what would have been his lifetime had he lived (19 + 19 = 38).
Perhaps it’s because I have tried so hard to live a life that would have made him proud of me, tried to find a life or purpose and meaning, tried to find a place to belong in this world – and I feel I have made not made much inroads in all of that.
Perhaps it’s just that I miss him so much.
My precious boy. Happy birthday. I miss you with all my heart.
© 2020 Rebecca R. Carney